Taking Control

I don’t believe in fate. I don’t believe that things happen ‘for a reason’. On November 7th 2014 I was diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic, not because of fate, or because of any reason.

At first, I wondered, did I do something to deserve this? It’s hard to accept something when even the doctors can’t tell you what caused it. I find it difficult to write about how I felt at that time because it’s all a blur really. I felt numb mostly. I wasn’t sure how to cope.

I fight with it a lot in my mind. Sometimes I feel angry and upset, and sometimes I just need to cry and scream. But that’s okay. There came a time when I had to realise that this is a part of me, it doesn’t define who I am or control the way I live my life. I mean, to an extent, it does control me. I obviously have to be careful and watch what I am doing in order to remain healthy, but mentally, I now try my best to view this as me taking control of my own health and nothing else forcing me to do so.

This mentality is really what got me into fitness and living a healthier lifestyle than I ever had before. I don’t live the ‘perfect healthy and fit lifestyle’ (does that even really exist?), my diet doesn’t consist entirely of whole foods, I don’t count every single calorie all the time, I don’t punish myself for taking a bit of a break when I need one. My lifestyle is what works for me, it keeps me healthy and happy, and keeps my diabetes in check. I am in control.

When it comes to living a healthy lifestyle, you might sit and look at others, and think “wow, they look really healthy and happy” and simultaneously think “that could never be me”, like I used to do, and sometimes am still guilty of doing… It’s natural really.

On the other end of this line of thought though, I’d never once considered I’d be diagnosed diabetic, but here I am. Something that I had never even given thought to, never considered would ever be me, became me.

Okay so they’re absolutely not the same thing, fitness is obviously something you aspire to and diabetes… eh not so much. I guess I’m just saying you shouldn’t dismiss things as impossible. Why can’t it be you? This is your life, you control it. Yes, some things may happen that are outside of your control, but you can adapt. Diabetes was outside of my control, I was not fated into having this condition but I am coping with it day by day. I need to take each day as it comes and do my best to cope with it. I changed my mentality and lifestyle and, despite how unhappy and angry I get at diabetes sometimes, overall, I have never been happier.

If you want to change the way you live your life then change it. Start small, set realistic goals. Wake up and say, today I will cook a healthy meal for dinner. Say, today I will go to the gym, or take half an hour out of my day to workout at home. Today, I will smile a little more. Set realistic and achievable goals and the transformation will begin. Don’t just sit there on social media and compare your life to the lives of others you deem to be fitter and happier than you. Don’t compare your life to others you see on social media full stop – everyone is coping with things that are outside of their control that’s going on in their lives. That is just life! It is completely random. No one has the perfect life, perfection does not exist. Everyone is just trying to live the best life they can.

There is no written ideal way for you to life this life, so you decide what will make you happy! I can say that, yes, I have my slip ups, but I am happy and I AM in control of my life. I have decided how I should live with my diabetes and what mentality I will have towards my life. It’s definitely not easy to change your mentality, but it is possible. So, stop asking “why can’t that be me?” and instead, stand up and say, “this is me”.

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